2014 has been a fantastic year for celebrities and entertainers. I blew up my Facebook page writing posts about their ups and downs. And boy were there some real #TMZ moments! So I thought I would take a look back with my annual yearend countdown rant, called “Lisa’s Top 10 Celeb. Ups & Downs of 2014. WOW!! A lot of dead people made my list this year. DISASTER!!
10. My number 10 Celeb. of 2014 is Comedian Tracy Morgan: You know him, he used to be on #SaturdayNightLive and #30Rock. Well, #TracyMorgan was coming back from a stand up comedy show in Delaware when suddenly a tractor-trailer smashed into his limousine bus in New Brunswick, NJ. It flipped over and when the smoke cleared, he was left him in critical condition and the legendary #JamesUncleJimmyMackMcNair died on the scene. EVERYBODY in the comedy world bows down to him as a comedy legend. Two other passengers were injured. When I heard about the accident I screamed!!! It was a total shock!! I guess I shouldn’t have been because car accidents are a very common part of life. But when it’s a celeb, somehow it seems more dramatic!!
The driver, #KevinRoper was charged with assault and death by auto. I dunno, I’m not sure if I would be ok with someone being charged with a crime if it was an accident. It’s one thing if the driver was drunk or high. Then in those kinds of cases they need to throw those fools in orange jumpsuits. But he fell asleep or was falling asleep at the wheel and swerved to avoid slowed traffic but instead he plowed into Tracy Morgan’s limo. So it was an accident. The singer #Brandy killed someone in a car accident and she wasn’t found guilty of anything. Anywhoo, I was very pleasantly surprised to see that he is in #ChrisRock’s new movie, #Top5. I guess he shot it before the accident because he’s still not back 100%. Did yall go see the movie?? How was it?? The trailer looked corny to me, but let me know if it was funny, log onto Lisadurden.com and click on email us. So all in all, Tracy Morgan’s year was down and up.
9. My number 9 Celeb. of 2014 is Oscar Pistorius: Do y’all know who he is?? #OscarPistorius is that South African, #Olympic blade runner. He is the fastest man on no legs. Clearly he’s not just fast on the track, he’s even quicker on the trigger!! In February 2013 he shot his girlfriend, model #ReevaSteenkamp at his house while she was in the bathroom. His angry, evil a_s claimed he thought she was an intruder but I say, he was full of “ish!!” First of all, he claims that when he woke up he thought he heard an intruder in the bathroom. I don’t believe anything that “motherclucker” says because the prosecutor said there is evidence that she was hiding from him after a bad fight and when he was shooting in the bathroom she was screaming. So he knew full well it was her in the bathroom!! So, I believe the prosecutor. There are accounts that Pistorius was a hot head!! That he has shot his gun on several occasions. He tried to say that because he was a double Amputee, that he had to have a gun to protect himself. I just don’t buy it!! Because he’s not a regular double Amputee, HE’S OSCAR PISTORIUS, OLYMPIC RUNNER!! I’m sure he has security. Boy bye!! Anyway, in September, 2014, Judge Thokozile Masipa, acquitted him of murder charges and instead, charged him with culpable homicide, which is the illegal killing of someone through irresponsible behavior. What the hell is that weak mess!!?? Let me remix this situation for you. Understand that he is a celebrity in South Africa. Understand that in South Africa women’s lives are not considered as valuable as men’s, put those two things together, with a female judge on the bench, who knew her place……that’s how he got away with murder!! So his 2014 was all up! But the coup de grace, the victims mother’s book is coming out soon and I WILL be getting an advanced copy!!
8. My number 8 Celeb. of is 2014 Sherri Shepherd: Sherri, Sherri, Sherri, your year was totally down in the dumps!! I’m sure y’all remember that Sherri's husband filed for divorce on May 2014. #SherriShepherd girl, the thing that I was confused about was YOUR silence. You were on #TheView when this happened so, we want your VIEW too!! In this case YOU were the hot topic, that went cold!! Not a good look girly. If we were good enough for you to blab on and on and on till the break of dawn on The View about yours’ and Sal’s dating, engagement, marriage and surrogacy, then we should be good enough for you to share what went wrong!! Either you’re private or you’re NOT!! You can’t have it both ways!! Her broken marriage from second husband Sal was the Pink Elephant in the room and the camera was exposing all of her pain through that fake smile and empty ring finger!! Ok, here’s how it all went down. Sal, who she married a short 3 years ago, filed for divorce and is suing her for alimony and full custody of their surrogate child. I suspect that he wants full custody because the child isn’t biologically Sherri’s. There are two kinds of surrogacies:
I.Traditional Surrogacy, which is where the surrogate acts as both the egg donor and as the actual surrogate using intrauterine insemination.
II. Gestational Surrogacy, which is when the embryo is actually created by using both the biological father's sperm and the biological mother's egg through in vitro fertilization.
My guess is, they did the Traditional one which would make the baby biologically Sal’s, not Sherri’s. And if that isn’t bad enough, Sherri’s first husband is now suing her for full custody of their nine year old special needs son Jeffrey, claiming, she leaves him with “unskilled nannies,” he can’t tie his shoe and he is reading below second grade level. REALLY?? WOW!! I love Sherri like a fresh fruit salad and hope things work out for her, but ladies, let this be a lesson to you ALL, don’t be desperate for marriage. Cause it never ends well!! #IJS!! #disaster!! LOL.
BTW, is anybody surprised that Sherri Shepherd left The View?? I'm not!! Sherri’s demise was similar to #StarJones,’ she said too much about her marriage and when it blew up in her face, it dragged The View down with it! And Barbara ain’t havin that!! Babs probably said in her #DonaldTrump voice: “YOUR FIRED!!” Either way, I suspected something after her divorce drama because she was so guarded & cryptic, it was uncomfortable to watch her. SHE needed to be the HOT TOPIC on The View addressing the rumors about her marital problems, instead of ignoring the pink elephant in the room. Holding that kind of pain in, doesn’t read well on camera, trust me I know!! PS: I guess Sherri had the last laugh because she played the evil stepmother opposite KeKe Palmer in Cinderella on Broadway. That was a good look. Nice!!
7. My number 7 Celeb. of 2014 is Black Movies: This year I have a category in my countdown because it was a stellar year for black films!! Yes, we had a bunch of block busters. Well, not a bunch, but a few. There’s still not enough roles for black actors because Hollywood doesn’t think black films sell. Well, 2014 proved them wrong!! And this is my first tie, #12YearsASlave, which won the #Oscar for best picture aaaaaand #LupitaNyongo won the Oscar for the best supporting actress for 12 Years A Slave directed by Steve McQueen. In my Cool And The Gang voice, “Ceeeeee-le-brate good times come on!” LOL. #AwsomeSauce!! 12 Years A Slave cleaned up at the Academy Awards!! Whoo Hoo!! It don't get no better than that!! But it is a little bitter sweet that it took the Academy sooooo long to come to their senses because there have been some very deserving black actors like, #RubyDee, #OssieDavis, #AngelaBassett, #CicelyTyson, #JamesEarlJones, who's bodies of work was phenomenal, but have not had the chance nor will they ever get the chance to win an Oscar. Oh well, I guess they paved the way for those who came after them. Wait, there’s more!! Lupita made #PeopleMagazine's Most Beautiful Person In The World in 2014. I gotta tell ya, I was pleasantly surprised.
A. Because she’s black.
B. Because she’s dark.
Please don’t kill the messenger!! I’m just sharing the message. Black people, we know that racism is alive and well for AAAALLL black people, but we are very aware that Hollywood’s definition of beauty isn’t usually a dark skinned, black woman, with her natural hair. If you ain’t light, bright and damn near white, with a weave, you’re invisible. Yes, of course it’s a little better than it used to be, but we still have not arrived!! White people, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, CAUSE YOU DO!!
And tied for number 7 was my boy #IceCube. His movie #RideAlong was number 1 in the box office in January 2014, making a whopping $41.2 Million Dollars opening weekend. And stayed number 1 three weeks in a row. That’s uber record breaking!! #KevinHart and Ice Cube were brilliant in the film. Well that’s what I heard because I didn’t see it.
A. I don’t like action movies.
B. I’m really not into Kevin Hart like that so since I didn’t have time to go to the screening, I wasn’t about to pay $10 and get pissed!!
However, I’m always glad to see the underdog win!!! Yeah, that little gansta rapper Ice Cube fooled you Hollywood blue suits didn’t he?? Don’t ever think these rappers are really gansta’s and criminals. First of all, most of them lie about being hard. It’s a persona. I think I can take Ice Cube in a street fight and I’m a punk!! LOL. Second of all, most of them are very smart and were good students in school, like #Nelly. #IJS
6. My number 6 Celeb. of 2014 is the idiot, Donald Sterling: #DonaldSterling from the Clippers made racist statements to his half black girlfriend V. Stiviano, telling her, “don’t bring black people to my games!!” Really Don?? Really?? You own a basketball team with practically all black men, sooooooo what black people were you referring too Donald?? BLACK PEOPLE WERE ALREADY AT THE GAME, THEY WERE THE ONES BOUNCING THE BALL AND MAKING YOUR BANK ACCOUNT RAIN!! Ok, here is what I think this one thousand year old racist “motherclucker” meant. He meant, not “those” kinds of black people. You know, randoms. He’s ok with “acceptable” blacks who he deals with on a professional level, but they don’t get an invitation to his house for the holidays or on the golf course at the country club. Not they would even give a “cluck!!” But it’s about his “ignant” a_s!! Sterling got pissed because the girlfriend posted some pictures of herself with some of her black friends on #Instagram and he blew a gasket!! Although she took the pictures down, she leaked the audio of their argument and it’s disturbing!! #TMZ reported these quotes,
--"You can sleep with [black people]. You can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on that ... and not to bring them to my games."
-- "I’m just saying, in your lousy f******* Instagrams, you don’t have to have yourself with, walking with black people."
So when his #racist rant leaked to the media, the entire thing blew up in his face and HE was banned from Clippers games forever!! Boo hoo hoo!! Then he was forced to sell the team for $2 billion dollars. WOW!! He was really punished!!! Of course that’s my sarcasm because sentencing someone to a lifetime of being filthy rich, is somehow not computing as a punishment to me. And if that wasn’t bad enough, grandpa ran around doing interviews all over town, blasting and ranting about #MagicJohnson’s #HIV status. MSNBC.com reported that in an interview with Anderson Cooper, he said, “What kind of guy goes to every city, has sex with every girl, then he goes and catches HIV. Is that someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed of himself. Big Magic Johnson, what has he done? He’s got AIDS. Did he do any business? Did he help anybody in South LA?” Sterling said. “He does nothing – he’s all talk.” Clearly this man is warped and a bad throwback from the Jim Crow era. Maybe he has dementia? Because I’m sure a lot of white people feel that way about blacks, but they have the good sense not to say it in the public!! The only way he’s gonna stop being a racist is at his funeral.
5. My number 5 Celeb. of 2014 is actor Phillip Seymore Hoffman: My eyeballs popped out of my head when I read that #PhillipSeymoreHoffman died of a heroin overdose. Not because I was shocked, but because I was hopeful that he hadn’t picked up again after having been clean for 20 years. And rumor has it that he was living a double life as an undercover gay man as well. WOW!! And WOW!! When it rains it pours! Actually, I don't know if the #DownLow thing is true or not, but if he was sexually fluid, I'm not surprised. A lot of men are!!! Hell, a lot of people are. But what was disturbing was the media reporting that Philip Seymour Hoffman was a good father. That kind of silly mess makes my #BrainBleed. Why is it that when people die, we say wonderful things about them at their funeral that are not true?? I’m not saying expose their dirty laundry. But fabricating an entire persona, that never existed, is just ridiculous to me and totally unnecessary. NO, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, could NOT, have been a good father!! Can we be real here?? There is no possible way that an addict can be a good parent!! ESPECIALLY a heroin addict like Philip Seymour Hoffman. It matters a da_n if you’re a rich or poor junkie. Why?? Because they are in the throws of their #addiction and are NOT able; point blank!! Why are we so uncomfortable with the truth of what the disease of addiction does to destroy families?? I’m sure his children suffered in horrible shame and silence for years while he was slamming needles in his veins. I’m sad for them!! Yes, he was a great actor and that’s where it ends!! Father, NOT!! And what was really interesting is that the police arrested four suspected drug dealers – Thomas Cushman, Robert Vineberg, Juliana Luchkiw and Max Rosenblum for selling the lethal heroin to him. That’s great!! But I wonder why when black & Latino folks die of heroin overdoses, nobody seems to give a “cluck,” including the cops. In my #ArsenioHall voice, “things that make you go hmmmm.” OMG, is it me!!
4. My number 4 Celeb. of 2014 is my girl Joan Rivers. WOW! My girl #JoanRivers was down for the count after an unplanned biopsy of a polyp-like growth on her vocal cords. The procedure triggered a seizing of the vocal cords, blocking the comedian’s ability to breath. Unfortunately, leading to brain damage, then eventual death. Of course I was a little shocked because it was sudden; so to speak. However, she was a thousand!! Did anybody really think that an 81-year-old would survive surgery?? Not likely!! For those of you who know me, y’all already know I’m very comfortable with death, especially of an ancient person like Joan. #NoShade!! So please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t like it when people die. Nobody does. But when somebody lives a long life like Joan, I think it’s childish to want or expect forever!! Once you are about 65, any day could be the day. You know what I mean. No, I don’t wanna die at 65 or 75. But if you’re lucky enough to get old, then you need to know that death IS around the corner, or down the street, or in the next town. LOL. So it wasn’t meant for Joan to come back from the coma, don’t cry for her Argentina!! Motha has liiiiived!! However, I will miss her. Joan was hella funny!! I’m glad that our prudish culture finally caught up with her outrageous brand of humor because she is truly a talent before her time who paved the way for edgy female comedians like #KathyGriffin, #Monique, #LisaLampnelli, #SherylUnderwood, #JaneaneGarofalo, to name a few. #FashionPolice will never be the same without her.
OMG I'M A GENIUS!! Waaaaay before anybody ever mentioned Kathy Griffin replacing Joan, I wrote a post pumping my fist urging #MelissaRivers to cast #KathyGriffin as the new #JoanRivers in #FashionPolice!! And she did!! #YAAAASSSSS!! Of course we all know that Joan is irreplaceable!! No one even comes close!! Buuuuut, Kathy is "that one" who can dare to attempt to fill Joan's flip flops. LOL. Joan Rivers fans, what do you think?? Perfect right??? The show is coming back in early 2015 but not in the same way. From what I understand it won’t be a weekly show. It will be 17 episodes throughout the year focusing on huge red carpet events like the #Emmys, #Grammys, etc. Oooooo, BTW, #GeorgeKotsiopoulos IS NOT returning. #Disaster!! #BradGoreski, the assistant from #TheRachelZoeProject and his own spin off, It’s a #BradBradWorld, will fill the seat. Not loving him, but I’ll give him a look see. Why not!! #R.I.P. Joan!! We love you!!
3. My number 3 Celeb. of 2014 is funny man Robin Williams: #RobinWilliams committed suicide by hanging himself. On August 11, 2014, he was discovered dead by his personal assistant. EVERYBODY was surprised!! EVERYBODY was shocked!! I guess because it was totally unexpected. But what was hard for many people to wrap their brain around what the fact that he killed himself. What many didn’t know however, is that Robin Williams had been battling drug addiction and depression for years; that’s a #MolotovCocktail, which was bound to explode!! There were a lot of mean and insensitive things said about his choice to commit suicide. I might sound a little quirky right now but I really really really get why a person might want to commit suicide. When I was in pharmaceutical sales at Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, I used to sell a drug for depression called Zoloft. And I learned the severe pain, physically and mentally, that a depressed person goes through. And don't add substance abuse onto that like in Robin William's case. So the suicide releases them from the pain that they could no longer endure. So to me, suicide isn't necessarily violent. It's more about letting go of a fight. The fight for life. Which for a depressed person, it's like running a forever marathon with no finish line. And that's exhausting!!! Actually, I'm glad he's out of his misery now.
People don't realize that a person can be dying right before their eyes especially if we see them as "successful" or "happy." But unfortunately, when a person is depressed and is battling substance abuse all at the same time like Robin Williams, a hug or a phone call WON’T cut the mustard. Depression is a real thing just like cancer. Sometimes it's terminal and sometimes it goes into remission. But there is no cure so some people die from it by committing suicide. And TRUST, everybody who commits suicide fought like HELL not to!! It’s spooky to see Robin Williams in his final performance; the third installment of the wildly successful, #NightAtTheMuseum;SecretOfTheTomb. Seeing him again was nostalgic!! I will miss Mork from Ork.
2. My number 2 Celeb. of 2014 is Pharell:.The man was on cloud 9!! He shot to the moon!! He broke so many musical records that he made my head spin!! #Pharrell’s song #Happy, from the movie sound track #DespicableMe killed the music industry in 2014! That song sold more than the #Beatles!! Happy spent 15 non-consecutive weeks at number one on the Top 40 singles chart; PHENOMENOL!! He got nominated for an #Oscar in the category Music Original Song for Happy, he got nominated for an #AmericanMusicAward category, Single of the Year for Happy, he got nominated for American Music Award category Artist of the Year & Favorite Male Artist – Pop/Rock of the Year. He won a #BETAward category Best Male R&B/Pop Artist and Video of the Year for Happy. He got nominated for #BillboardMusicAward category Top R&B Song for Happy & Top R&B Artist. Whew!! My fingers are getting tired just listing them.
Then he got the #Oprah effect!! BOOM!! Pharrell’s interview on #OprahPrime was sooooo hot!! It was the best!!! I saw a side of him that I never knew was there. Mostly because he wasn’t that visible before. Yes, we knew him and his Midas Touch, especially after the success of his song with #RobinThicke, #BlurredLines. But after Happy, his shine was so bright it became blinding!! His Oprah interview was appointment TV. I was glued to the television and not even a naked #LLCoolJ knocking at my door could have dragged me away. LOL. Pharell is uber smart, uber sexy, uber sensitive and uber humble. I love!! Yaaaaaasssss. The song Happy was featured in a Fiat commercial and the sound track for The Amazing Spider-Man. Happy is more than just a song!! It’s more than just a dance. IT’S A MOVEMENT!! I even did the happy dance. Check me out on #Youtube. It’s hilarious!! If I do say so myself!!
PS: He’s #Fiyaaaah as a judge on #TheVoice!! SIDEBAR: What goes up must come down. I knew I was hearing a very familiar sound but I just couldn't put my fingers on it til now. Pharrell strikes again!! I suspect his song 'Happy' is stolen from the 1960's Little Stevie song called 'Fingertips.' No shade!! I’m just sayin!! He did the same thing with Blurred Lines. I mean really!!?? Can the man ever come up with his own sound?? Well, if I’m right, I hope he had the respect to pay Stevie Wonder for it. Listen for yourself and let me know what you think??
1. Drum roll please....My number 1 Celeb. of 2014 iiiiisssss Solange Knowles: Y’all had to know that #Solange was gonna be the number 1 celeb in Lisa’s Top 10 Celeb. Ups & Downs 0f 2014 for beating #JayZ's a_s in the elevator at #MetGala while #Beyoncé stood by and watched!! Whew!! Tongue twister! LOL. That left hook was legendary!!! In my opinion, this was the biggest story of 2014!!! Once the video got leaked it went viral and so did the speculation. I’m sure EVERYBODY has seen it but to refresh your memory, there was no audio, it was just video, therefore, we were all left to speculate why little bitty, tiny, Solange, was laying hands on her sisters, gigantic, oversized, former gangster, former drug dealing, rapper, mogul husband?? Before I dived in on social media with my 10 cent, I chose to let the Solange, JayZ, Beyonce, elevator debacle marinate. All of the speculation back and forth on social media WORE ME ALL THE WAY OUT! And that’s not easy to do. LOL. The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false!! That girl was as sober as a newborn baby!! She knew exactly what she was doing and meant to do exactly what she did, which was to smack the piss out of JayZ!!
Once my brain stopped bleeding, I RIPPED the quote from the WACK combined statement they made about the Solange beat down, "We love each other and above all we are family. We've put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same." And scene!! REALLY?? REALLY?? Do they think we're stupid?? If that’s love, then give me hate!! Beyonce might love JayZ. Beyonce loves Solange. Solange loves Beyonce. But not only does Solange NOT love JayZ, it’s very clear that she hates his a_s!! And I also speculate that the hate was building up LOOOOONG before her JayZ smack down in the elevator at the Met Gala. My feeling is, Jay has been laying hands on B, and/or calling her all out of her name in buck wild arguments in front of Solange, and/or he’s been busted having multiple affairs and Solange is sick of his Shananagans!! Family?? Family?? Pa-leeez!! Screaming family is supposed to make us think this was some little family spat?? Yes, they are family, A VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL ONE!! My prediction is, this is the beginning of the end of Mrs. Carter’s marriage!! And for the record, Beyonce and JayZ weren't fooling me with their scripted display of a loving couple at the VMA's this year!! I was waiting for them to say, "CUT!" That entire scene was as fake as a $3 dollar bill!! Yes, it was very cute....BUT...think about it...Beyonce ain't been putting her personal life out there on the hoe stroll, so why is she pimpin it now?? That cold kiss between Bey & J reminded me of the #MichaelJackson #LisaMariePresley creepy, bootleg Kiss at the 1994 #VMA's. When ANY couple, especially celebrity couples like JayB, TRY THAT HARD to convince us that their marriage is strong, I think that the divorce lawyer is waiting back stage with a pen singing #Ushers's lyrics, "ready to sign them pay-pas!!??" LOL. Oooo, I heard that the female security personnel from the hotel got fired for leaking the elevator footage. Reportedly she got “piz-aid” over $250,000 so she’s, “winning!!” LOL. And please don't tell me that their relationship is none of our business. Y’all already know what I feel about that, that horse has left the barn!! LOL.
However, Solange topped off 2014 with a fly wedding. Yes, it was all that and a bag of chips!! But that marriage is WACK!! I'm sorry to be a #DebbieDowner but no 28 year old, should be marrying a 51 year old. By the time she turns 40 #DaddyWarbucks will be drinking puréed food through a straw. LOL. A little older is one thing, but when a person is old enough to be your parent, I'm not feeling it!! This marriage is a disaster waiting to happen. Relationships are hard enough without marrying your father. Solange clearly has daddy issues because her new husband can almost be her grandfather. LOL. That's not gonna work!! She’s been married once, I don't see what her rush was to marry again before the age of 30. And not for nothing, THESE DAYS, I don't think it's a good idea FOR ANYBODY to get married before the age of 30. Drop the mic!!!
If you’re visual, watch Lisa’s Top 10 Celeb. Ups & Downs Of 2014 rant on #TheLisaDurdenShow, @ 6pm, Tuesday, January 6th, on Newark, Cablevision, Channel 19. For those of you who live in Manhattan, you can catch the show on Manhattan Neighborhood Networks, 5:30pm, Wednesday, January 7th Channel 56. Or online @ www.mnn.org, 5:30pm, Wednesday, January 7th, select channel 2, Lifestyle Channel.
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